I can count on one hand the number of people I call a FRIEND. People use the term so loosely nowadays which makes it hard to determine if the other person really has your back or not. Practically anybody can be classified as friend whether it's the guy next door you occasionally have sex with or the receptionist at your workplace. Although it's nice to have people you can relate to and bond. When do you consider that connection as a friendship?

I know you may be able to relate to my story. I have never been the one to follow a crowd or be apart of a clique for popularity. This may be due to the introvert side of me who would rather be alone at times. Sometimes being in group can be complicated and girl code can be broken. Typically in these groups/cliques there is always the leader, the female who thinks she can do no wrong. She would be the one to organize all the activities and often she would be the loud one of them all. If she got mad with one of the girls then everyone must follow suit and not speak to that particular female. How awkward can that be to be told not talk to someone?  If you are a kid that's expected but to be an adult is just ridiculous. I understand there is loyalty but why should your issue be my issue. Why do I need to inconvenience myself to please another grown ass woman?

The point is you shouldn't have to and often we feel the need to be apart of something whether it's healthy or not. Many of us may feel the need to have some sort of companionship to function. I'm OK with having my 1 or 2 females I considered a friend. A friend is someone you are able to cooperate with, trust and support. A friend is an individual who will listen to understand and most people lack this quality.  A friend may even agree to disagree with you at times.

However; a friend will not coerce you into holding grudges, control your life by telling you who you should talk to or manipulate you into doing things that may have a detrimental effect on your life. Be weary of the ones who do not have your best interest at heart. You always want to surround yourself with  positive-liked individuals and avoid getting sucked into the "clique" zone because you want to feel accepted. 

I want to hear from you. Does being in a group/clique make you feel included or not?

XOMelissa

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